beautiful . solitude

So we finished class today.  Unofficially, since there was no official good-bye nor ending to this dragged out mess. 

I had originally joined the class with a little bit of hope for a new beginning, but I (and many of the others in class) quickly learned that the program really isn't as structured as it should be.  Chinese people are, by nature, not extremely adept to planning, synchronising, and rehearsing anything involves more than two people at a time.  Woe to our class ... the director was overworked, the instructors over ambitious, and the schedule over-planned -- which resulted in a lot of confused students, including myself.  And in the end half of us really want to just ... quit. 

Even those who were not assigned positions couldn't get away with the minimal duties, such as having to take two days off work to observe and student-teach a class hour.  I was actually approached to take over for a teacher who, on the last minute, couldn't take her schedule.

There were lots of reasons why I couldn't (and shouldn't) accept.

1)  I don't really have a car.  Granted I have been taking Ma's car this entire time, she'll be starting work again tomorrow, and Pa doesn't really like being w/o his truck.  I think I might have to be escorted to and from work from now on.

2)  I have a job.  It's not full time and it doesn't pay a lot, but Felicia and Mike certainly won't be happy to know that I'll be taking off three weeks at a time -- I'd get fired like everyone else.  Doesn't make much sense for me to do the evening shift either, because if that happens then Deb's hours will be cut.

3)  The schools are in places like Spring, Conroe, and Lamar.  I have no sense of direction and I dunno where those places are.  No way in hell am I spending that much in gas money when I'm making minimum wage to begin with. 

4)  We're not getting paid for this ... like I had assumed we were.  Which would still be fine with me, as long as I don't have to do it (lol I selfish). 

5)  After this class I can honestly say that I have tried and HATE teaching.  End of story.

So yes, end of story.  I hope I don't get asked to teach again, because I really don't want to do it.